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Jokes to enjoy ngna
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#1
Tongue 
SOME JOKES TO ENJOY:
a man enters shop and shouts, where is my free gift with this cooking oil?
shop keeper:- there is nothing free with this sir.
man:- oye! it's written cholesterol free.


what is the difference between secretary & personal secretary?
secretary :- says "good morning sir" and personal secretary says " it's morning sir"


once some one sent sms to his friend " sender is cool and reader is fool"
his friend got angry and replied " sender is fool and reader is cool"

father: radio va ceylon la vai.
son: vendampa namma veetileye irukkattum.

what do you get if you put some sugar under your pillow?
sweet dreams !


kanmani anbodu friend nan anupum sms.
ponmani un cell kasu eruka?
en celil kasu illai.
unnai ninaikayil sms kottudhu.
adhai anuppa ninakayil bill egirudhu


be. padi engineera povai
m.b.b.s padi doctara povai
b.l. padi vakeela povai
intha mathri sms padicha veena povai



two men were planting a bomb in a car
sardar 1: what would we do if the bomb explodes when we are planting it..?
sardar 2: dont worry.. i've got 1 more


a boy is driving a jeep in jungle.
tourist: if lion comes very close to us then how we can escape?
boy: give right indicator and turn left.

I WILL BE BACK.................
கந்தல் ஆனாலும் தாய் மடி போல் ஒரு சுகம் வருமா.....வருமா...
சொர்க்கம் சென்றாலும் சொந்த ஊர் போல் சுதந்திரம் வருமா.... வருமா ...
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#2
TEACHER STUDENTS JOKES:

tow pupils were fighting outside the examination hall. the teacher came out and said : “why are you fighting?.
one student : teacher, he left his answer sheet blank.
teacher : why should that bother you?.
student: i too left my answer sheet blank.
teacher : so . . . . . ?
student : you will think that we have copied from each other.




teacher : i am extremely pleased to see the high grade you have achieved during these exams. i hope that you will continue achieving such splendid results.
student : sir, i can definitely achieve such high grades, if you again get the question papers for the next exam printed at my father’s press.



science teacher: dipu, which is the source of light to all the planets?
dipu : i don’t know, sir.
teacher : it is the sun.
dipu : but the sun will realize his mistake when he gets the electricity bill.




the teacher was examining ravindra’s maths answer sheet. he was very much surprised to see so many mistakes in the answer sheet.
“ravindra,” the teacher asked, how did you commit so many mistakes in your answer sheet?”.
“sir” , ravindra replied, “ i did not write the paper alone. my father helped me out”.



teacher : (to ramesh, a student). rames, what is the climate of australia?
ramesh : frozen cold, sir,
teacher : (in a very angry tone). who told you?
ramesh : sir, the food tins we receive from australia are always frozen cold.




raju : sir, elephants do not brush their teeth but why do we brush ours?
sir : elephants do not wear clothes, but why are you dressed?



teacher : prakash, now that you’ve kindly consented to come to school, what would you like to do?
prakash : go home.



teacher : how old is your brother?
student : how can i tell unless you tell me his date of birth?
teacher : how high can kangaroo jump?
brindu : as high as the qutab minar.
teacher : manish, do you think that brindu is right?
manish : well, i don’t even know that qutb minar could jump.



a nursery school teacher : ramu, tell a,b,c,d
ramu : why. miss, don’t you know the alphabet?



teacher : which of these two travels faster, heat or cold?
ramu : heat.
teacher : what makes you think so?
ramu : because, we catch cold.




the teacher (to shanker): what do you mean by democracy?
shanker : democracy means government off the people, far from the people, to buy the people.



teacher : gopi, which things lay more eggs.
gopi : sir, my arithmetic note-book.



teacher : george, give me three examples of the ape family.
george : mother ape, father ape and child ape.



teacher : raju, did your father know about your progress report? did you show it to him?
raju : yes, madam. he said, “you’re better than me”.


teacher : which is more useful, sun or moon?
ramu : moon, sir.
teacher : why?
ramu : because, the sun gives us light only during the day when it’s not needed.



teacher (to tom). have you heard of psychology?
tom : yes, sir.
teacher : where have you heard of it?
tom : here just now, and from you, sir.


Life is to live . So Enjoy living . Love TAMIL.
doctor : what seems to be your trouble?
patient : when i get up i feel dizzy for one hour.
doctor: try getting up one hour later.

doctor (to the patient) : did i not give you the medicine yesterday? did you take it?
patient : yes, sir. but i did not drink it.
doctor: why?
patient : (pointing to the bottle) : because it is written on the label : close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.

dentist (to the patient) : for god’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. i haven’t even touched your tooth yet.
patient : yes, i know. but’re standing on my foot.

doctors son : well, dad, now that i am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success.
doctor father : always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.

doctor: yes, what is it i can do for you?
patient : doctor, yesterday, when i was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if i did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. but, when i stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?
doctor : the fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is.

doctor: mr. kishan, you look exhausted.
kishan : i am. when your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that i have to come today for a blood test, i spent the whole night studying for it.

doctor : liquor is a slow poison for you.
patient : it’s all-right. i’m not in a hurry.

patient : may i have a glass of water, doctor.
doctor : are you thirsty?
patient : no i just wanted to check whether my throat leaks?

patient : how much do you charge for extracting a tooth?
doctor : fifty rupees.
patient : fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?

doctor : well, i will do it very slowly.
patient: how much is for the operation?
doctor: rupees on thousand.
patient: but it was a serious one.
doctor: nonsense. you can’t buy a serious operation for rupees one thousand now-a days.
கந்தல் ஆனாலும் தாய் மடி போல் ஒரு சுகம் வருமா.....வருமா...
சொர்க்கம் சென்றாலும் சொந்த ஊர் போல் சுதந்திரம் வருமா.... வருமா ...
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