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WWE RAW Results - March 30, 2009
-Show opens with Undertaker's music playing and a shot of a hearse as we get to the open.

18 Diva Tag Team Match: Melina, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Maria, Tiffany, & Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Layla, Rosa Mendez, & Katie Lea Burchill

Mickie and Jillian start things off and Mickie takes down Jillian with a Lou Thesz press. Tag to Tiffany who grabs an arm wringer but gets a knee from Jillian. Tag to Beth who comes in and sends Tiffany into the buckle, but charges into a back elbow. Tiffany charges into a flap jack, and Beth tags out to Katie Lea. Tiffany rolls up Katie in a small package and that gets the win at 1:11!?!?! Umm…okay.
Winners: Melina, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Brie Bella, Mickie James, Maria, Tiffany, & Alicia Fox (Tiffany pins Katie-Small Package DUD)

-Santino comes out to say that he may have been denied entry into the diva battle royal by Vickie Guerrero but went over her head to WWE President JACK TUNNEY!!! Santino says he found Tunney passed away several years ago, but he will still be heard because he's an equal rights pioneer. Santino says he's going to prove to everyone that he has what it takes by competiting in a swimsuit competition. Santino says when its all over maybe the ladies can go to the kitchen and cook him up something tasty like a calzone. Santino says he's going to unleash the mankini. Santino takes off his robe and reveals a Borat-esque bikini. Everyone thinks it's hilarious (including yours truly) but Beth, and then all of the divas attack Santino throwing him out of the ring.

-Recap of Orton's attack on Stephanie last week.

Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Chris Jericho
Cole announces the match at Wrestlemania will require Jericho to beat all three legends, while they will only need to score on fall on Jericho to win. Lawler attacks with a series of rights early sending Jericho into the corner. Jericho gets a cheap shot on the rope break to gain the advantage and then scores with a clothesline. Jericho delivers a series of kicks, and then chokes Lawler on the second rope. Lawler hits the ropes running into a back elbow from Jericho, and then gets hits with another series of rights as Jericho puts the bad mouth to him. Lawler reverses an Irish whip sending Jericho into the corner, but runs into a back elbow. Jericho hops off the second rope, but Lawler meets him with a punch to the gut. VINTAGE LAWLER as the strap comes down and Lawler follows up a series of rights with a snap mare. Jericho fires back, and takes Lawler down with a double leg take down. That sets up the Walls of Jericho which finishes things at 3:26. Wow, lets hope Steamboat, Piper, and Snuka have more in the tank than Jerry did. That was brutal.
Winner: Chris Jericho (Submission-Walls of Jericho DUD)

-After the match Jericho continues to put the bad mouth to Lawler, but gets hit with a right hand sending him to the floor. Jericho says he won't get back in the ring, because he already beat him. Jericho says at Wrestlemania it's not a matter of if he will beat the legends but how. He says he knows he will be called heartless by the parasites in the audience, but he wants us to know he didn't start this. Mickey Rourke did by issuing a challenge he refused to back up, and now due to a night of false bravedo from Rourke his three friends will see their demise. Jericho promises at Wrestlemania he will defeat and embarrass the legends, and after Wrestlemania he will be the only person associated with the name Jericho.

-Say did you know John Cena has a new movie out? If you didn't here's a trailer.

-Todd Grisham is with John Cena. They are quickly interrupted by Edge who says the chances of Cena walking out of Wrestlemania Champion are virtually non-existent. Edge says it doesn't have to be that way though. Edge reminds Cena of what Big Show has done to both of them the past few weeks, and lets him know that Show can dominate them if he likes. Edge offers a deal that the two of them can take out Big Show, and then face off with each other. Edge asks if they have an understanding. Cena says it makes perfect sense, and its probably the best way to take out Show. But Cena is too upstanding for that. He tells Edge he doesn't like him, and he doesn't trust him. He'd rather lose on his own than win with Edge's help. It doesn't matter though, because Cena says he's going to do exactly what he said he was going to do. He's going to Wrestlemania, and he's leaving as Champion.

-Michael Cole talks to Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase to get a preview of Randy Orton's address. Rhodes says Orton isn't just going to address his actions against HHH and The McMahons, but all of WWE universe. Dibiase says after Wrestlemania everything we know about WWE changes forever.

We head back to the hearse where they open the casket and inside its Shawn Michaels. He stares into the camera with a smug look as we head to break.

Rey Mysterio vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield
Not sure what exactly the point of a non-title match a week before the pay per view is, but here we go. JBL says he asked for this match, because he's going to beat him tonight within an inch of his life. That way on Sunday in the biggest pay per view in history Mysterio will be history. He throws in an "amigo" for good measure. JBL boots Mysterio in the face in the corner, and delivers a forearm to the head. Mysterio hits the ropes, but holds on and kicks JBL in the face. Hurracanrana sets up a 619 attempt, but JBL gets up and delivers a shoulderblock. JBL misses an elbow drop, but catches Rey springboarding off the ropes with a boot as we head to break.

Back from commercial, and Mysterio elbows out of an abdominal stretch. Mysterio hits the ropes, but jumps into a fall away slam from JBL sending him to the floor. JBL heads out after him, and delivers a boot to the head before firing Rey back inside for a two count. JBL delivers a forearm , and then pounds Rey down in the corner with a series of rights and a boot. Rey stops a superplex attempt by punching JBL off and delivers a top rope seated senton. Rey hits the ropes ducking a big boot, and an enzaguri attempts which sets up the 619. JBL ducks the 619, but a dropkick from Rey sets up another which this time connects. Rey the springboards in with a crossbody splash to pick up the win at 6:43. Booking 101 would now tell you JBL retains at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Rey Mysterio (Pinfall-Springboard Splash **)

-Recap of Cena's promo on Smackdown where he promised to win the belt at Wrestlemania.

John Cena vs. The Big Show
Cole says Show despite being introduced at 441 he has it on good authority that Show weighed in a 485 today. So much for that weight loss. Show takes control early pounding Cena with the rights in the corner, and then delivering a brutal chop. Show stands on the ribs of Cena, and then pounds him down again with a forearm to the lower back. Show connects with a headbutt, and then walks across the chest of Cena. Show wraps Cena between the second and top ropes and hammers him with a forearm again to the lower back. Cena tries to fire back, but a running shoulderblock is just shoved off by Show. Show connects with another headbutt, and an Irish whip sends Cena to the corner. Show tries a splash, but Cena dodges it. Cena hits the ropes, but gets put right back down with a flapjack. Show sets up for the Vader Bomb, but Cena is able to roll out of the way. Cena heads to the top rope and connects with the legdrop. Cena goes for the STF, but Show kicks him away sending him to the apron and delivers the world's largest baseball slide as we head to break.

Back from commercial and Show has a modified rear chinlock locked in. Show goes back to standing on the ribs, and then stands on the head of Cena. Show continues this innovative offense by walking on the back of Cena, and then calls for the chokeslam. Cena counters the chokeslam into a DDT, and goes for the STF. Show is too big for Cena to grab the cross face, and Show gets out of the toehold with a back elbow. Cena ducks the right hand from Show, and goes for the Attitude Adjustment. Cena can't hold Show, who slides down the back and delivers a chokeslam which finishes clean as a whistle at 9:22. After the match Edge slides in through the crowd, and when Show turns around he attacks Cena. Refs come in to pull Edge off, and Show just stands and watches.
Winner: The Big Show (Pinfall-Chokeslam ½*)

-Recap of Shawn Michaels' tribute to The Undertaker on Smackdown.

-Shawn is shown heading to the ring with a casket in tow.

-Shawn Michaels joins us for what was advertised as "The Funeral for Mr. Wrestlemania." The ring is set up with a casket and a few funeral wreaths. In a nice touch Shawn has placed pictures of his wins over Taker next to the casket. Shawn says he stands her as a man unafraid. Shawn says the entire procession is not for him, but for Undertaker. Shawn says the streak ceases to exist this Sunday. Shawn says they've had battles in the past, and he always comes out on top. Shawn says in Taker's illustrious career the only thing he hasn't accomplished is beating Shawn. Shawn promises this Sunday will be no different. He goes over what he's done the past few weeks with the superkick, the graveyard promo, and the tribute to Taker on Friday. Shawn says he's done it all without the slightest bit of consequence, and not a hint of retribution. Shawn opens the casket, and reveals that Taker is not inside which is of course the swerve anymore. Shawn says there will be no retribution tonight or at Wrestlemania. Shawn says that Taker thinking that he can't end the streak as a personal insult. Shawn says he's Mr. Wrestlemania, and this Sunday every moment over the past 24 years will pale in comparison to what he achieves. Shawn says the next day they'll talk about the title matches, legends, ladders, and 70,000 people, but the moment everyone will remember will be when Shawn Michaels pins The Undertaker. That draws the gong, and the lights go out. When the lights come back on Taker is in the ring, but Shawn is gone. Taker shows his frustration that his mind games aren't working brilliantly by destroying the set, and even uttering a damnit. Then Taker turns his attention to the casket, he opens it but Shawn isn't in there either. Taker turns around, but Shawn slides out from underneath and delivers sweet chin music. It's pretty clear that since Taker has never gotten over on Shawn during the entire build that he's winning, but we knew that anyway. This build has been incredible, and this is the Shawn-Flair or Hogan-Rock of this Wrestlemania. The undercard match that will totally overshadow the "main events."

-Cole and Lawler (still in his wrestling gear) preview the 2009 Hall of Fame and we get a replay of the Austin video.

-Rundown of the Wrestlemania card. Show vs. Cena vs. Edge, Hardy vs. Hardy, The Geritol Connection vs. Jericho, Undertaker vs. HBK, Orton vs. HHH, Money in the Bank, JBL vs. Mysterio, Miz & Morrison vs. Colons, and Miss Wrestlemania Battle Royal

Eight Man Battle Royal: Participants-CM Punk, Kane, Mark Henry, Christian, Montel Vontavious Porter, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston, Finlay

Bet you couldn't guess, but it's a big brawl to start. Finlay avoids a press slam, but gets tossed by Henry anyway. Hornswoggle provides a distraction to Henry, and that allows everyone to toss him. Punk gets Christian nearly out, and Kane tries to dump both to no avail. Everyone but Shelton and MVP team up on Kane in the corner, but he fights them off. Shelton throws MVP to the apron, and MVP then tries to suplex Shelton the floor. He gets him to the apron with him, and Kane delivers a clothesline sending both to the floor. That leaves Christian, Punk, and Kofi with Kane and they team up on him. Kane kicks off everone in the corner, and Punk tosses Kofi. He takes a minute to mock him, and gets an uppercut from Kane. Kane dumps Christian to the apron, but he slides back in. Both Christian, and Punk team up on Kane, but Christian double crosses and tries to throw out Punk. Punk comes back with a knee, and goes for the bulldog. Christian counters and fires Punk onto the apron, but turns into Kane who press slams him over the top taking out Punk in the process and giving him the win at 3:38. After the match Kane grabs the ladder and poses with the briefcase.
Winner: Kane (Last eliminating Punk & Christian simultaneously *)

-Orton heads to the ring for his Wrestlemania address with security in tow.

Orton's music hits and out comes Randy Orton by himself. Music stops and Orton is in the ring with a microphone. Orton says at the age of 24 he became the youngest World champion in history. He says it was the greatest moment in his life, but short-lived because the next night on RAW the man who was his mentor, the claimed to be his friend, turned on him in a fit of jealous-rage. A video package is shown of the infamous "thumbs down" Evolution segment on RAW where HHH, Ric Flair and Batista turned on Orton. We return live and Orton says that night is where everything started falling into place. He says HHH ruined his life so Orton made a vow to himself to ruin HHH's life. Orton said he waited until he found the talent to form a group of his own. He waited until HHH was as powerful as ever and had something he cared about more than the WWE title. Orton said so it began this past January when Orton won the Royal Rumble. Another video package airs, this time of the Royal Rumble. We return live and Orton says he earned the right to face HHH and take his title at the 25th anniversary of WrestleMania, but that wasn't enough.

He had to raise the stakes and take everything away from HHH that he cared about and systematically destroy him. Orton says so he chose his family - the most powerful family in the WWE: The McMahon's. Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon and his sweet wife Stephanie. A video package airs of Orton punting Vince's head, beating up Shane, and last week's situation with Stephanie McMahon. We return live and Orton says almost five years after HHH turned on him, he RKO'd his wife. Orton says let him make one thing clear, he knew exactly what he was doing. Orton said he knew HHH would retaliate. He said HHH went to Orton's home and attacked him and took a sledgehammer to Rhodes and DiBiase. Orton said that was a risk he was willing to take because he wanted HHH to feel confident because it would make him let his guard down. Orton said it allowed him to do this: and a video package is shown of Orton beating up Stephanie last week while HHH was handcuffed to the ropes.

We return live and Orton says at WrestleMania everytime he and HHH lock up, everytime he tries to throw a punch, he's gonna be looking at the man who DDT'd his wife and sealed it with a kiss. Orton says he won't come to WM25 with his sledgehammer to get his vengeance because Orton talked to Vickey Guerrero and it's official that if HHH is DQ'd or counted out - he loses the WWE title. If he shows up to the ring with the sledgehammer it's an automatic DQ and Orton becomes champion without lifting his finger. Orton says so it comes full circle with HHH. He has taken everything from HHH except the WWE title which will happen this Sunday at WrestleMania. He says when that happens the entire landscape of WWE will change and the power will shift permanently. Superstars will try and climb their way up so that one day they can stand by Orton's side. We go to a shot of a limo pulling up. Orton yells for the lights to be turned on. He calls out the Legacy members and security. Out they come. We go to the limo with the doors open and it's an empty limo. Orton says if it's HHH than he needs to come out. Vince McMahon's music hits and out comes Mr. McMahon. Vince stops, takes his sport coat off, rolls his sleeves up and Shane's music hits. HHH's music hits and out comes Triple H. HHH looks enraged as all three men walk to the ring. They are stopped by security but quickly beat them down and get past them. HHH takes his shirt off and we have a brawl between Legacy/Orton and HHH/McMahon's outside the ring. HHH and Orton end up in the ring alone and HHH takes Orton down and punches away. The show ends with HHH punching Orton in the corner.

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